So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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