Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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