what day is it and did you see me today?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
