At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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