i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
