We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
