Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
