I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
