someone get that fucking seahorse.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
