i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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