carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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