We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
