The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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