Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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