i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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