they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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