I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
