Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
