i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
