He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
