alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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