even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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