Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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