HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
