I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
