Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
