I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
