Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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