Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
