thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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