You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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