I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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