I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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