They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize