Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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