This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
