if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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