the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
