as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
