Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
