well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This baby is an asshole
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
