She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
