I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize