OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
