Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
