Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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