my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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