I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize