Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
