I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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