..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
