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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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