awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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