To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
