that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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