your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
