Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
