Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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