im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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