The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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