How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
