Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
