If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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