Non-Jews are for practice
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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