dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
