so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
