he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
