Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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