Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
