You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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