"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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