His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
