i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
