He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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