doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize