I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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