I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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