Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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