great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
