They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize