You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
