All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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