Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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