He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
