My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
