I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
